Wednesday, December 15, 2010

An Auto Correct Feature

I love my iTouch, which I was recently told is called an iPod Touch.  It’s hard enough using the thing without remembering the proper term for it, so Touch works fine for me.  I like it because of its mobility.  Most of my essays are typed with my right thumb while skirting around town dodging overly safe drivers.  The part about it that drives me nuts is the auto-correct feature.  Don't get me wrong, it also has some good points - if I'm paying attention, that is.  Sometimes, it'll predict the word I'm trying to say and just offer it up so I can stop typing and move onto the next word.  It's quite a handy function that delays my thumbs being put into traction.  Still, if I'm not paying attention it causes utter confusion.  As I look back over some manuscripts my characters have yelled, "Shut the he'll up."  At first I thought it just didn't like the four letter words until I read, "Vie come to pick up the kids," and found myself wondering how Vie got into my story.  Furthermore, sometimes I question the programmer, like the time it corrected "think" into "thunk".

It's also a habit that I find myself having to break when I get back to a real computer.  I'm so used to it putting in the apostrophes for me that I forget to put them in myself.  I need auto correct there as well.  It would come in handy for everything.

I think that's why I love writing so much.  If I don't like the first draft, I just draw my red line through it and rewrite it.  I've even chopped out whole scenes that just wouldn't come out right.  Now, no one will ever know about Faith's adventure at the rest area along Highway I95.  Furthermore, I've done it with characters as well.  Edwin's wife was just too strong of a role for Edwin to have any fun so I demoted her to new girlfriend status.  Now, she fits perfectly.  However, I wouldn't try this at home, husbands.

The more I think about this feature, the more I wish life came with one.  Now, I wouldn't want to auto correct everything because my wrong choices have led me to the life I lead now and I wouldn't change that for anything.  No, I'm talking about the smaller incidents that in the scheme of things don't make a difference, like the hair-dos of the 80's or dressing like Devo.  I wouldn't open the presents at our wedding reception because, well, as I learned it's bad taste.  No one told me, not even the wedding planner in attendance.

There are some things I would do over with the boys, but not many.  I definitely wouldn't pitch for Nathan's Little League team and I'd perhaps have taken more weekend trips instead of being so caught up on what other people thought were important and really mattered not one bit in the grand scheme of things.  That's a major thing I would change - not listening to other people as much.  Too many people think they know how you should live your life and the course you should take.  What I've learned is that most are as lost as I am and merely want company on their screwed up journey.  I've learned to live my life, regardless of the naysayers and scowls.

Furthermore, I wouldn't have had that fight with my mom when I was in high school that led me to storm out of the house leaving Dad to deal with a furious woman.  Relationships that were poisonous would have been severed earlier while more devotion given to the ones that ultimately mattered.  More time would have been spent seriously pursuing my passions (get your mind out of the gutter) and following my dreams with greater zeal.

I wish I could auto correct things for my kids, as well.  Then, perhaps I wouldn't have had to put up with some of their bad relationships that left them as hurt as I was at their age or that stuff they like to argue is music.  Perhaps with auto correct I wouldn't have seen kids with broken thumbs or cut up shins from stupid stunts on broken down bikes.

Still, with no auto correct button we humans need to rely heavily on forgiveness and patience.  This is the hardest for the majority of people but the most important.  Holding a grudge is heavy work and requires muscles the heart wasn't meant to have.  In the end you're only hurting yourself and making yourself sick.  While we humans have no auto correct feature we can put our settings on instant forgive and fix the misspelled words of our life immediately.  Take the step and change the features of your heart.  The life work you produce will be sweeter.

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  1. Wonderful story and so fitting for this time of year. Bravo! (But you really shouldn't drive and write at the same

    1. But I get so much more Thank you!

  2. I wish, sometimes, that I could auto correct being paid to know that it's iPod touch (with a lowercase "t"), but it pays for the wine, which is cheaper than therapy. Beautiful post, Robbie.

    1. See, Kenneth..I need it for visiting!