Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Emotional Vampires

The world is fascinated with vampires right now. The Twilight series, True Blood, Kim Harrison, Laurel K. Hamilton, Anne Rice, Buffy and Angel, all of the neck biting, blood sucking fantasies that can be had are readily available. Television shows such as CSI have done episodes pitting vampires against werewolves in century long battles with mundane endings. People have their teeth cosmetically altered while some even go so far as drinking actual blood. That part gives me the heebie jeebies.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Everyone Has a Story

Everyone has a story.  Everyone.  The bartender who stands behind the wooden counter polishing the stained surface as he listens to other stories being told over whiskey has his own tale.  The librarian who whispers the code for the hiding place of a Tale of Two Cities has a story.  The hooker looking for a ride, the pastor behind the pulpit and the person delivering your mail, all have stories and most want someone, even if it's just one person, to know their story.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The World Wide Clothesline

I have to admit, I’m not a big fan. Don’t get me wrong, I love the World Wide Web. It’s made my life as a writer so much easier. I have access to court records, news from around the world, and key lime pie recipes right at my fingertips and I never have to get dressed. Before I actually had to put on clothes and go to the public library, or even worse, Barnes and Noble where I know it’s going to cost me fifty bucks. I can’t leave that place without buying a couple or five books and a three dollar coffee.

When we were first introduced to life online we would get lost for hours. I remember Char saying “Good night” at ten while I was clicking link after link only to feel like she was saying “Good morning” twenty minutes later. In truth, I had been up throughout the night lost in the silly things one can find on the internet. It can be totally addicting like Cookie Dough ice cream.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Take Two Aspirin and Text Me in the Morning

Technology and I do not get along. I've stated this repeatedly I think, which makes me wonder why my mom keeps calling me for computer advice. It's a well established fact that I don't know how to fix things, only how to break them. Case in point, when the brakes start going out on the car, my solution is to turn the music up louder so that I don't have to hear the metal grinding against the rotor. I've discovered that's not the answer to cell phones or computers, however. I know because I tried.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Greatest Show on Earth

I was not a happy camper. All morning long I had been looking forward to this little break in my day only to have it stolen by a poor economy. Too say I was pissed is like saying Liberace was a casual dresser. You see, the girls had to go grocery shopping for the week and located conveniently next door to Publix was nestled this quaint little coffee shop with an outdoor patio. The plan was to take my notebook and enjoy a cigar and coffee while the girls replenished the sustenance at home. It was the only reason I offered to drive them over the bridge to the store in the first place.

But it was closed, out of business, painted windows. They even took the tables and chairs from the sidewalk! I could have at least snatched my free coffee from Publix and still had a quiet and productive hour, but no, those selfish bastards took the chairs as well. Now there was no coffee and no place to park my backside. The day had turned sour faster than the girls can swipe the credit card.

Friday, April 1, 2011

No Organization Past This Point

I totally get it. Really, I do. Furthermore, I agree with them. They want their friends to come into the house and not have to apologize for me. “I’m sorry. I know the place is a mess. You see, well, Robbie’s been home.”

I’m not new to this. I grew up with it. My mom refused to leave my bedroom door open because as she said, “It looked like an atom bomb went off in there.” We had the age old fight about making the bed, which absolutely made no sense to me because in twelve hours time I was going to be back in it. I still don’t make my bed. Char does that and I think she takes great delight in tucking the bottom of the sheet under the mattress at the foot of the bed so that when I crawl in I feel like Gulliver pinned down. Of course, the first thing I do is kick like a wild man, sending the sheets everywhere. It looked like a wadded mess but at least I can snore in comfort and not bondage.