“Yes, Mr. Cox, this is Mrs. Disturb Your Dinner from All Phone Companies and we want to sell you a plan that will ultimately screw you over.”
“Does it come with a free phone?”
“We might have something from the late ‘80s we could toss in for you.”
“Good, because I’m not Mr. Cox and he’s going to need a new phone. Oh, he’ll need a new television and computer as well.” And then I hang up.
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Seriously? |
“They must not be looking up.” Then they wouldn’t see the sign and it would be the last text message they sent for awhile. How stupid does the person who installed the sign think the American people are? I know, I know, he’s just trying to avoid future lawsuits. After all, anyone can be sued for anything nowadays. I mean, where else can you order a cup of coffee and then sue the company because it’s actually hot making them forever afterward post signs that say, why yes hot coffee is indeed hot so be careful? We’re dumbing down America to protect the stupid and accident prone. I’m all for making the world a more accessible place for those with disabilities and doing what we can to adapt the world to fit their needs providing a safe environment, but stupid people need to be toughened up instead of coddled.
It’s become so bad that health departments now require restaurants to post little notices by their hand sinks that teach people how to wash their hands. I’m sorry, but if you don’t know how to wash your hands I don’t want you cooking my food. They even tell you how to do it in Spanish in case English isn’t your forte, and they’ve added diagrams in case words in general scare you.
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And no one else? |
“I only need two, so I know it works.”
“You’re also a hairless human while I’m a walking carpet. Bath towels don’t completely dry me off.”
The sign even tells you how long to rinse your hands under running water as opposed to still water: twenty seconds. This is probably measured by the one push of the soap dispenser. I’m surprised they haven’t calculated how hard to have the water running while you are rinsing off for a more accurate cost saving equation.
Personally, I feel that if you don’t know how to wash your hands by the time you start school, your parents need to be slapped with a soap dispenser. This is basic hygiene and the need for signs telling us how to do it is one of the reasons I really don’t like shaking people’s hands. I don’t know if they followed the instructions or not.
The other reason I don’t like shaking hands is the “Employees Must Wash Hands” signs in public restrooms. This sign is also why I prefer buying my produce at a place that does not have a public bathroom. People see this sign and then say inwardly, “I’m not an employee, so I don’t have to wash my hands.” Then they go out and fondle the cucumbers or melons. Obviously, we have not been dumbed down enough and the sign should read, “Wash your damn hands!”

Common sense just isn’t that common anymore and we have to idiot proof our country with labels such as “Please don’t use the curling iron while taking a shower.” My father used to say, “You have to be smarter than the material you’re working with,” which may be why there are so many dumb-asses coming out of public bathrooms.
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