“You won’t believe it, but I just took
the mother lode of all dumps. It was
amazing.”
The girls and I just stared at the
youngest male child wondering what possessed him to share such disgusting
knowledge. We didn’t invite it and the
girls for one didn’t want it, especially since we were sitting down to dinner. We tried to ignore him, but when Zac starts
talking about his bowel movements it’s hard to get him to quit. It’s like they are his crowning achievements. When people ask what our kids are doing nowadays
we say, “Oh, and Zac, well, he’s blowing up the bathroom and might soon be in
the Guinness Book of World Records for massive shits.” We beam proud while the other couple then
tells us of their brain surgeon child. “That’s
nice, but is he in any record books?”