As I was forced to clean out the
garage the other day, I began filling a box with stuff that would be sold
cheaply at a future yard sale, which would then allow me to buy those expensive
drinks on our next cruise. At first I was
wondering where all the miscellaneous junk came from as we had already had a
yard sale a year ago, and found it ludicrous that so much had been left
over. Besides, I knew that what we had
not sold had gone to Goodwill. No
leftovers. Did the girls go out and buy
more stuff just so we could have something to sell? I suddenly went and checked my office to make
sure they hadn’t stripped my shelves of knick knacks when I wasn’t looking.
The yard sale should really be
called a driveway sale because that’s where everything is going. I’ve worked too hard to get my yard to
resemble real grass to have it trampled by grungy looking people searching for
next year’s Christmas gifts. But I
digress. I digressed on purpose, to be
honest, because I’ve always wanted to say, “But I digress.” Still, I digress again.
As I was loading the box, it got
to the point that things were beginning to spill over the edge. Obviously, there was quite a bit I wanted to
get rid of and all of it was not going to fit in the box. So, being the logical man that I am, I got a
bigger box and transferred everything into it.
I then went back to cleaning the garage, adding more items to the new
box. It didn’t take long, however,
before things were once again tumbling over the edge and onto the floor. “How much crap do we have?” I screamed.
“What’s wrong?” The girls asked as they entered the garage
after hearing my growl of frustration.
“It doesn’t fit in the box. What am I supposed to do with it?” I just stared at the mess.
I won’t share what they told me
to do with it, but it did give me a workable anecdote for this writing as I
stared down at the books and knick knacks scattered on the dusty floor. There are several things that just don’t fit
in my Life Box, and I have to ask myself the same question. What am I supposed to do with it?
When it’s a stranger that does
something not found in our box, we’re appalled, outraged, and publicly proclaim
our displeasure. We see it on television
all the time. Groups will protest, religions
will condemn, and the media will exaggerate.
Some have even gone so far as to blow things up. We feel justified and righteous because those
people need to behave like us, after all.
Our box is the right one and everything outside is damnable. We know it’s the right one because it’s our
box and it fits us. What fits us should
fit everyone.
Then it hits us at home. A family member, a friend, someone we may
work closely with, starts behaving outside of our box and we don’t know how to
handle it. We’re no longer watching it
on television, where it’s not at a safe distance, but seeing it played out in
our personal world. The overload for
some is just too much and they shut down.
Relationships are severed, sometimes never to be reconnected and all
because people don’t know how to deal with what’s outside of their box.
I smile when I hear people say,
“Think outside the box.” They want you
to stretch your creative instincts to increase their business. Yet, if you stretch your box outside the boundaries
of theirs you’ve gone too far. There’s
an invisible line in the sand. Be
creative, just don’t be too creative.
We do the same with life. There’s a general consensus of what is
“normal” in society, boundaries put in place centuries ago that people dare not
challenge. “I’m not going to tell you
how to live your life,” but you better do it this way. The box was created with solid steel walls
surrounded by concrete laws.
Immoveable. Permanent.
Boring.
When it comes to dealing with
things outside of my box, I tend to look at the people and not the
lifestyle. I don’t buy into the whole
belief system that one lifestyle threatens or harms another. I also don’t believe that the “normal” family
unit is any better for a child than any other.
I know several heterosexual, one man, one woman couples that should be
forbidden to copulate and produce offspring.
Their children come out just as dysfunctional as them if not worse. Don’t believe me? Visit Wal-Mart on any given weekend.
What do kids need? Love.
Encouragement. Support. A place to feel safe and protected. These traits can be found in people
regardless of their sexual orientation or lifestyle.
Just because I wouldn’t cover my
arms with tattoos or pierce strange parts of my body or pretend I’m a vampire
doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with those individuals that do. It’s their life. It’s their body. As far as I’m concerned they can do what they
want with it. As long as what they do
does not have a negative impact on my family, I don’t care. If I was the government I’d be more concerned
about how many lazy asses are mooching off of our welfare system than whether
two men can be married. Being outside
the box means you don’t worry about what others are doing as much as who they
are,
Our country was founded because
people wanted out of the box. They were
tired of being told how to worship or being oppressed by taxes. Yet, we’ve fallen into the same trap. They wanted their freedom; they fought and
died for freedom’s sake, and yet, we want to suppress the freedom of others to
live life as they choose.
Women’s rights activists came
along and broke through the stereotypical fifties housewife box. Equal pay for equal work and an equal vote in
how this country should be run as well as so much more. To be honest, in many arenas they are still
fighting that battle. Fantastic. I’m all for equal rights across the board
regardless of gender, race, age or color.
However, once they got out of that box they tried to force everyone else
into their new box. “You don’t have to
stay at home anymore and cook and clean.
You’re free to pursue your own dreams and ambitions, to build a career
for yourself.”
“But, I am following my
dream. I want to be a housewife.”
“No, you only think you do. That’s what society - man’s society - has
brainwashed you to believe. Now, get out
of the home and do as I am doing.”
I honestly believe that for the
longest time the loudest group forced everyone else to go along with it. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who wants
to work outside of the home. Likewise,
there’s nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to keep house. For that matter, a man can do either, as
well. The rules are no longer universal
and as they are defined within the relationship, it doesn’t matter if it
matches up with the mainstream world.
Destroy the box! Let it end where our personal boundaries
begin. Don’t take another’s life or even
their name. Don’t destroy or steal their
possessions. Let each live with their
personal choices and beliefs and cease judging each person by the same cookie
cutter that you’ve created your life with.
Dare to think outside the box.
Better yet, dare to live outside the box.
* * * * *
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