Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Selective Snob

I have been accused in my life of being a snob.  Several times it was my mother who made the accusation, while at other times it was the kid in need of a bath using his food stamps to purchase energy drinks.  The words sometimes sting because, the truth is, I never saw myself as a snob.  Since high school, I have always been the type to befriend the underdog because most of my life, I had been that very person.  I’ve known what it felt like to have people gaze down on you with contempt because you simply didn’t measure up to their standards.

I suppose I was a little snobbish when I was younger, if I was to be honest with myself.  It was toward a cousin that lived with us at the time.  He was a year or two younger than me and was forever following me around, wanting to do whatever I was doing.  Most of the time, I would allow him to tag along, but only after undergoing a full inspection that had to pass my approval.   Comb your hair.  Change shirts.  Don’t talk.

I was brutal.  I admit it.  I didn’t want my cousin seen with me unless he looked a certain way.  I didn’t necessarily feel superior, just cleaner.  I had a standard in my way of thinking and the people I chose to associate with had to meet my standard. 

At least, that’s what I told myself back then, but it was only so that I could be seen as better than my poor cousin who really didn’t know any better.  The truth is, I had other friends that couldn’t match the popular kids’ standards and I never tried to change them, accepting their efforts as the best they could do with what Fate had given them.  I didn’t judge them based on what their appearance, but on their behavior.  If they weren’t complete morons, I didn’t mind having them around. 

Since high school, I’ve mellowed quite a bit in many areas.  I have also become more solidified in my view of the world and my comfort level.  Because of those lines I have chosen to live by, I have concluded I am not a snob so much as I am merely selective.  You see, a snob is someone who believes they are better than everyone else.  That is not me.  While I may be better than some, there are a vast amount of people who are better than me.  Better looking.  Better dressed.  Better writers.  Just better.  And I’m okay with that.  It is not my goal in life to be better than everyone else, but to just be the best me that I can. 

A snob?  No.  Just selective.  You see, while I don’t put a lot of stock in appearance, or financial status, I do pay close attention to character traits.  An individual’s personality is my litmus test, not their intelligence level.  If being around a person just irritates the hell out of me, then it’s best for everyone if we just part ways.  No hard feelings.  It’s merely a personality clash and both parties can make friends somewhere else.

I cannot tolerate people who are rude or parents who cannot control their children.  Good manners seem to be a dying art nowadays and it is immediately evident if a person has them or not.  If they don’t, then I prefer there to be distance between us.

Furthermore, hypocrisy, I can’t stand it.  I had my fill years ago and became an expert at spotting it.  Call me a snob if you wish, but I have no stomach for fake people.  If you can’t be real in all ways, then your friends should be plastic and not flesh.  Be real with who you are, what you are about and where you’re going even if the reality is you don’t know.  Be honest with your motives as well as your words.

I also don’t like attention.  My friends are probably laughing at that, thinking that I crave some type of spotlight. Yet, that’s not what I’m referring to.  What I’m talking about is when someone is obnoxiously loud and all eyes are drawn to the disturbance of their evening.  I don’t want to be stared at.  I just want to simply enjoy my evening, to relax amidst the crowd without becoming the object of spectators.

I still believe there is a right way and a wrong way to look when in public.  Cleanliness is also still very important as well as a certain level of behavior.  I’m not here to stand out at the mall or some nightclub. Most of the time, I prefer to blend in and go unnoticed.  I ignore those who live their life as if always on stage.  Those people who believe drama is a food group are also people I choose not to hang around.  I prefer my drama in my writing. 

These decisions of who I choose to surround myself with do not make me a snob.  They make me a man with standards; selective.  Men should have class and ladies behave with grace.  This is not a matter of income level or social status, but rather an issue of style.  It’s a way of carrying yourself whether in a formal ballroom or out in the bogs mudding with your buddies.  It allows you to have fun, but not be an idiot.  I am a firm believer in how a person behaves will attract certain personalities to them.  For myself and the girls I want open minded people with a sense of class about them.  I want people who know there’s a right and a wrong time for certain conversations and actions.  If this makes me a snob, then so be it, but I’m a selective snob. Why, sometimes I won’t even hang out with myself.

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  1. I completely agree with you. Life is way too short to spend time with people whose company you don't enjoy.

    1. No one benefits if you do. Thanks for visiting the Mess.