“Dyl is participating in a gift
exchange for her Girl Scouts.” Sarah was
filling us in on the upcoming holiday celebrations. “They wanted the adults to do one, but we
quickly said no.” I just added it to the
“Must Buy” list.
“I need a gift Thursday for a
company party,” Char said the other day as she walked through the front
door. “No more than fifteen dollars.” It went on the list.
Teri handed me a Christmas card. “The pool guy left this. It’s tip time.” On the list it went.
I just added it all to the list
and as I did, the pressure kept building.
There’s Dyl’s school teacher, relatives in other states, our closest
friends, the lawn people, mailman, and the list keeps getting longer every year. Some of these are a joy to buy for, such as
the nieces and nephews and our dearest friends.
Others I’m left doing as I grumble.
I know you’re probably sitting
there now thinking I’m a cheap skate and a Scrooge, but really, I think
Christmas shopping for the men who pick up our trash is going too far. Ours don’t even get out of the truck
anymore! They have an automated arm that
comes out and dumps the trash, a service I pay dearly for, by the way, leaving
them snug in the cab of their truck. I
feel the same about the pool guy. He
doesn’t even write “Have a great week” on the card he leaves us on the porch
telling us what he did to our pool. That
Christmas card is the first interaction from him all year and that’s only
because he wants something. Money. At least, he could leave me a bottle of
scotch in exchange. I feel this is a one
way gift. I know. You’re still thinking I’m a cheap skate. You’re probably saying it’s a reward for
doing his job all year long, but to me that’s called a paycheck. Maybe if he complimented my blog once in
awhile I’d reconsider. I can be bribed.
I hate obligation gifts, those
pressure wrapped presents that someone else is making you buy because they
thought it was a great idea. “It’ll be
fun.” Buying the boss a gift at Christmas
just seems like a giant suck up to me. I’d
prefer if all groups just canceled their meetings during December as I’m too
busy anyway, than force me to purchase another gift. Let’s just shake hands and have a cookie
without the need to exchange gifts. I
want to spend the money on my family and those who interacted with me more than
by just leaving bills in my mailbox.
![]() |
My niece waiting patiently |
I know the office gift exchange
is a tradition and there are attempts each year to soften the blow by drawing
names, but it all adds up. It’s not that
I’m stingy; I just don’t like being pressured into things.
“So, don’t participate,” I hear
you say. Yes, you’re thoughts are coming
though loud and clear. And I know you
say that, but then you have to deal with the odd looks and judgmental attitudes
from those who say it’s okay not to participate, but expect you to, anyway. Then they go ahead and make that holiday
purchase for you with its cute little bow and now you feel guilty because your
hands are empty of anything to give in return.
“We just love giving. We never expect anything in return.” No, you like making me feel like crud by
proving you’re more generous than I am.
I already know you are, so please hold the gift wrapped guilt trip. I have enough pressure in my life as it is.
The holidays come with an
abundant amount of stress already. Don’t
add more to yourself by trying to keep up with everyone else. Take care of those who matter most to you
first, especially the children. Then,
with what is leftover make your wisest decisions on who to buy for next. The holidays are not about gifts; they are
about people. If you keep those you love
at the forefront of your mind and focus on enjoying their presence, the rest
will take care of itself. Make sure this
holiday season it’s always people above presents and you’re sure to enjoy the
Christmas season more.
*
* * * *
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For Further Reading ~ The Gift Matters
Thanks for visiting The Mess!
I couldn't agree more, Robbie. There is so much pressure with the gift giving around the holidays, where is the cut off? I give to the UPS guy because I get a ton of deliveries and he's always gone the extra mile, even helping me carry larger items in to the house. Besides that, I also grumble about the rest of the obligatory gifts but for some reason (guilt) I keep on giving. This year has been tough; changing jobs, launching my website, some increased expenses so I've decided to whittle down the list but that's not to say I don't feel bad. This is my biggest gripe about the holidays; it seems to no longer be about the spirit of the season but more about randomly emptying our bank accounts, maybe we do have to rethink it. Great post!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Stephanie. And we did whittle it down, but as you said it's still long. I love giving gifts, but I want it to be because I want to and not because i feel forced to. May this be the year the spirit is returned! And good luck on your website!
DeleteDear Robbie, Real quick! What did everyone give you for Christmas last year? Heh... they don't remember what you bought them either...real quick! Visa Card remembers though. :-))
ReplyDeleteLOL...NO Visa here...I always pay cash, because I don't want to stuck with debt the next year for the previous. But you're right, the gifts are hardly remembered. It's the memories of family being together that last a lifetime.
Deletedear Robbie i clearly i agree that many people put themselves under stress and pressure because of holiday gifts...
ReplyDeleteIt can be overwhelming if we let it. Thanks, Franky.
DeleteThat why I make gifts: mocha mix, gifts in a jar, plates of cookies. They cost pennies and yet fulfill that list.
ReplyDeleteI'll be expecting my plate of cookies :) Thanks for popping by and visiting. Making gifts is a great idea for the holidays.
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