My house is usually overloaded with estrogen and all that
goes with it. Currently, there are two
males and four females in the house and that’s not going to last much longer as
Zac is contemplating abandoning me. I’ll
be alone with the roller coaster of emotions, the worst being the 8-year old!
A couple of years ago, it was even worse. Our daughter, Heather, was graduating from
high school or escaping as she called it and the news of this grand event went
out to all interested parties. To
celebrate the event, one grandmother, two aunts, four cousins and two second
cousins made their way down to us and the only male in the bunch was the two
month old who was still in diapers and couldn’t even roll over on his own. It was a massive out-numbering and I quickly
stocked up on scotch and cigars as my house was soon full of giggles and hair
products.
The day and hour finally arrived when everyone had to get
ready for the ceremony. Some were attending
the event while others were preparing the house for the party to end all
parties which would follow. All two-year
old Alyssa knew was that she wanted attention and no one was giving it to her. Everyone was busy with curling irons, makeup
and Jell-o shots. Alyssa didn’t
care. She saw the activity and wanted to
help and she wanted to help right then.
So, I stepped up to the plate, always the helpful person
that I am. “Alyssa, you know what you
can do? You can help me find the
dog. He’s been hiding since you arrived
and I can’t find him.”
Her little eyes lit up.
“A dog? Okay!” And off she went, and the women were left
alone to finish their preparations.
It lasted for about twenty minutes until her mom heard her
screaming out for the dog. “What are you
doing?”
“I’m trying to find the dog.
He’s hiding.”
Becky looked at me, confused. I get that look quite a bit from the
girls. “You have a dog?”
I shook my head. “No,
but it kept her busy for awhile.”
“Robbie!” It was a
unison yell by all within earshot and I was sent to my porch while Alyssa
returned to asking why she couldn’t do her own hair. I had tried to help and was being punished
with a quiet porch and a cigar. I
attempted to act as if it was unfair as I smiled my way out the sliding glass
door.
It’s sad, really, but we do this to ourselves quite
often. We spend our time searching for
something that isn’t really there.
Usually, this happens when we misunderstand a comment or lack of
response and we over-think it, looking for a problem that doesn’t even exist. We misread a tone of voice or a look on
someone’s face and suddenly our imagination runs wild with all kinds of
scenarios as we try to anticipate a hurt feeling or a bad mood. This alone can lead to bigger problems.
This is a time consumer that will keep us from being
productive. It takes over our attention and
swallows our time with no real benefit.
Why doesn’t that person answer my text?
Why haven’t they returned my call?
Why didn’t they come over and say hi when they saw me at the mall? We’re borrowing trouble when we begin looking
at what might not be there. We dwell on
it and, eventually, a wall can build up, separating friends over a nonexistent problem.
Negativity is a black hole wherein you
can get lost once sucked in and never come out of if you’re not careful.
We can waste time searching for the dog when what we need to
do is ask if the dog even exists. Don’t
fret over a problem until you confirm that there even is one. Think positive thoughts until you know better
and give people the benefit of the doubt.
They could have had a bad day or be overloaded at work and just haven’t
seen the text or had time to return the call.
Perhaps it got lost and they are wondering why you haven’t reached out
to them. Our imaginations can be our
worst enemy and do more damage than good in these situations. Call.
Text. Visit. Don’t just sit and
worry over a fictional problem as a dog does a bone. Stop searching for the absent canine and deal
with what you know to be true. You’ll
save quite a bit of time and heartache.
“Is there a problem?
No?” And then together you can
enjoy the porch and the quietness.
* * * * *
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For Further Reading ~ A Self-Made Cage
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