Driving, however, ceased to be peaceful that final year of
hauling pepperoni around town and became more and more stressful. Whereas before the boom of the cell phone
era, you only had to watch out for the occasional drunk driver or the little
old lady who couldn’t see over the steering wheel, now everyone is a distracted
motorist and I have to spend more time watching the road and less time
writing. It truly has slowed down my
productivity.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and lecture people on the
hazards of being on their cell phone while driving. There are plenty of people out there who will
do that for everyone. I’m not going to
tell you what to do until it affects me and then I’m just going to bitch slap
you. I don’t think we need more laws to
box us in and protect us. I think we
should just lock up the idiots and be done with it. Who will determine who the idiots are? I will, of course, and I won’t even charge
the government for my services.
I don’t think we need more laws governing how we drive
because too many people don’t pay attention to them anyway, including those who
have volunteered to enforce them. People
pull out of a parking lot and turn left when they’re not supposed to or pull
into a parking lot from a direction that is clearly marked as a no-no. They stop in a crosswalk as if being ahead
five extra feet while waiting for the light to change is going to get them
there faster. And then they creep out
into traffic on a main road praying someone will surrender and let them out the
rest of the way without crashing into their front bumper. And stop blocking the damn intersection!
If we can’t get people to obey these simple laws or officers
to enforce them, why should we waste more time and money creating new laws that
will be equally ignored?
It was the disobeying of these simple rules that finally
made me hate driving and turn in my car topper.
It was either that or wind up in jail for killing someone and I look
terrible in orange jumpsuits. Behind the
store I worked for is a Super Wal-Mart, which only means it can hold more
freakish looking people than a regular Wal-Mart. And it does.
Too many, actually, and I refuse to go inside.

As I am stopped at my stop sign waiting for the person who
doesn’t have a stop sign to drive through the intersection so that I can go my
merry way, he decides to stop. A third
driver opposite me just stares at the guy.
I stare at the guy. Everyone is just
staring at everyone else. Why is he
stopped? He glances at the two of us on
either side of him and then gets mad because we aren’t going.
“Will you just go?!
You have the right of way, you idiot.”
My windows are up so he can’t hear me.
I switch to hand gestures, hoping he understands my meaning.
Finally, the guy across from me gets tired of waiting and
starts to pull out. Now the culprit
realizes he has the right of way and hits the gas while the other person hits
the brakes. A collision is barely
avoided. The other guy and I just look
at each other and shake our heads as we ease across the intersection.
We don’t need more laws to protect us and govern the
people. Well, that’s not true. We need only one law. A ban against stupidity. That one law, if enforced, would save
countless lives, not to mention the hair I keep pulling out as I run my
errands.
* * * * *
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Traffic circles. What some call "rotaries". That's where I'm constantly confronted with the fact that Darwin was WRONG!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Jenna. We have one here and it makes absolutely no sense. I've been waiting for accidents daily. Thanks for coming by!
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