She sits in her leather recliner
staring at the television, which has been off for quite some time. For the fourth time in a half hour she asks
me if I want a drink or perhaps some peanuts.
Surrounding her trailer are those collectible dolls with the porcelain
faces. They fascinate my middle son,
Chris. We think he may be the next Jim
Henson the way he creates things with stuffed animals and other toys.
Miss Flo begins to tell Chris where
she got the dolls and the stories behind each one. Chris listens intently, his eyes and mind
never wandering from the 93-year old lady.
He wasn’t tolerating her or just being polite. He was genuinely interested in what she was
interested in. There was no discomfort;
no intolerance. There was no generation
gap.
When participating in some functions,
one of the things that saddened me the most is the way people divide themselves
up into segregated groups. Seniors in
one clump, youth in another and middle-aged people in even another. The only ones not sitting with their age
group were the smaller children who were forced to sit with their parents.
Now, there is something comforting
about always being around people your own age who have shared some of the same
experiences you have in life. However,
we must be comfortable around those of differing ages as well if we are to grow
and benefit. I have heard the phrase
“Bridging the gap between generations.”
In my opinion that is stopping short.
It doesn’t need to be bridged but rather filled in completely.
I despise that word generation
gap. It calls for a huge hole to be
between my son and I and a crater between his grandfather and him. It separates and divides. Yet, I see the reaction all over the
place. Seniors not understanding today’s
youth; teens being disrespectful to their elders because they cannot fathom the
situations they have been through.
There are different cultures among
nationalities. The people in America have different customs and traditions
than the people of Africa or Australia . Even within the United States there are
differences. The people in Iowa suffer culture shock when visiting Manhattan .
However, there are also cultural boundaries between the ages. A sixty year-old will have different views
and customs than a twenty year-old.
What builds this chasm that
separates the ages? And what can bring
it together again?
In raising our children, we, the
parents, have to make this part of their growing up experience. Luckily, each of our children is at home
around people of any age. Respectful at
all times, they have tried to glean what they can from those older than they
are while leaving something behind. That
is the first place to start. Toss out
the notion that those younger just do not know what is going on nor do they
care. They do know; they do care; and
they just might have the answers even if they do seem a little radical.
There is no denying that there are
differences between the generations.
There are differing tastes in clothing and hairstyle, food, hangouts,
literature and politics. Yet, that is
not a good enough excuse for a generation gap.
The ages should never be divided because both lose so much. The youth lose wisdom and experience while
the seniors lose the freshness that comes with the young. Both have quite a bit to offer each other.
Start by opening up their tastes
for various entertainments. Our house
plays a little of each style of music and the children are taught to appreciate
it all. This is best observed around the
holidays when my boys reach for Bing Crosby or Glen Miller singing Christmas
tunes as opposed to the more contemporary groups.
We have done the same with
movies. They will watch the Keystone
Cops with my dad who in turn sits through Beauty and the Beast – over and over
and over again. My father has taught my
oldest son the joy of baseball trading cards while Nathaniel has helped him
with comic books, each one learning from the other.
Activities need to be shared as
well. Paul and Ruth had been to every fall
festival and family night their church had even though they had no children or grandchildren
at the church. They participated because
they loved being around young families.
“It helps us stay young” was their logic. I couldn’t agree more.
One of the shovels used to create
the gap between generations is that of personal preferences. While pulling alongside a high school student
with rap vibrating his car windows, my uncle would shake his head and ask, “How
can they listen to that racket? What’s
wrong with them?” Well, nothing is
necessarily wrong with them. Their
tastes just don’t mesh with his.
However, a whole age group is seen in view of that one vibrating
car. The gap widens. Truth be told – not everyone likes what you
like either.
One of the reasons this has come
about is by sending the children away to play.
I despise the adage “Children should be seen and not heard.” How else can they ask questions if they do
not speak in order to learn? Allow them
to play on the living room floor – quietly, of course – while adults talk. You will be surprised at how much their
little ears will pick up when you think they are not paying attention.
Unless the topic is too intense for
little ears, we should not rush our children out of the room when adults are
talking. I want to provide opportunities
for them to be around those of older generations to learn from their wisdom. I still need to be around older as well as
younger generations for my own personal growth.
We have to get past the body
piercing and colored hair and past the dress shoes, white socks and golf hats
to see the real people underneath it all.
When it comes down to brass tacks, the outside of a person is
unimportant. It is the inside that
matters. The generation gap cannot only
be bridged but with common respect and interaction it can be erased.
*****
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