In high school I took a psychology class with a teacher that
looked like a miniature Mr. Kotter. It
was one of the few classes that I enjoyed.
He was always having us participate in fun experiments to reveal things
about human nature. One of those was
about trust. We had to fall back into
other people’s arms hoping they would catch us.
It started with us just standing on the floor. Then we stood on the desk and then from a
chair on the desk. I never made it up
that high. Not because I didn’t trust my
classmates, but I didn’t trust the desk, the chair or my clumsiness.
One of the other games we played was Telephone. He lined several of his students up in a row
and he would then whisper something in the first person’s ear. That person was to whisper it to the next and
so it was to go on down the line. The
last person was to repeat what he had just heard to the class to see if it
matched with the original statement. It
never did. Something was either altered
or left out completely. It may have been
close to the original statement, but it was never close enough to hold up in
court. The lesson revealed how fast our
memory fades and how sometimes we only recall certain facts.
When an argument happens between two people they say there
are three sides - his, hers, and the truth.
However, that’s not true. Oh, it
is in the beginning, but not after the story has been shared with even just one
other person. You know they are going to
share it, because that’s what people do.
They love to spread “news” about other people to prove they’re in the
know and to keep people from talking about them. However, the story never gets told exactly
right.
Even if people like the story - or hate it, depending on
whose side you’re on - they have to change it, adding embellishments that
create even more drama than a Hallmark Movie of the Week. The villain is cast in a darker light while
the hero has a more saintly aura placed about them.
“You won’t believe how that bitch is treating him. I just don’t know how he’s holding up. I’d never be so patient and put up with all
of that bullshit.”
And then that person shares it with a couple of more and
they share it with even more. Yet, it’s
never the exact story and soon a novel is being recited over coffee. Truth is
replaced by the injustice of murdering facts and sharing fiction. The gossip is more important than the
friendships or reputations that are being severed.
Telephone is a cruel game that can cause more damage than
the truth when people’s lives are being discussed. I’d rather climb up on the chair on top of
the desk than play the gossip game and you know by now how I feel about heights. I won’t share stories and I don’t want to
hear them. When someone comes up to me
and asks, “Hey, did you hear about So and So?”
My hand goes up.
“Wait. Does this have anything to
do with me or my family?”
“Well, no.”
“Then how about a game of cards?”
The best way to end the drama is not to participate. So when the telephone rings, don’t answer
it. There are too many other great
things to talk about, like the release of Reaping the Harvest.
* * * * *
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Another spot on post, Robbie and I share your sentiment regarding gossip. I think this is why many of my friends tend to be men, they don't partake as often as their female counterparts. This is also a huge reason I was never able to feel comfortable in office settings, the rumor mill continued to churn out story after story. I say, if you want to make up a story write a book don't prey on the misfortune of others. Well done my friend and I can't wait for, Reaping the Harvest.
ReplyDeleteIt's made worse when the story is manipulated to purposefully ignite sympathy. It's sad all the way around and I prefer to keep my gossip in blog form lol. Thanks for visiting, my friend!
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