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| I have no pictures of me in tee-shirts |
I hate to admit it, but I’ve gained some weight. I know, I know. You look at my physique and can’t believe it.
Big, dramatic sigh. It’s true. The scale
tells me so every week. So do my
T-shirts. When I slip them on they make
sure I know that my six-pack is a keg ready to bust. When I sit in a chair, the shirt creeps up
making my gut look like that of a hairy, pregnant woman. They used to be too baggy on me. Not anymore.
Not by a long shot. They are way too
tight now and are busting at the seams.
The girls say I should throw them away. They really are not comfortable. Besides, they look ridiculous on me. It’s rare that I even put them on anymore and
if I got rid of them I could make room for newer, larger ones. I mean, they are just shirts, after all. There isn’t an emotional attachment to them. Why continue to wear them if they’re
uncomfortable?
Some people feel that way about their promises. It felt good in the beginning to make it and
the promise fit them nicely. It was easy
to keep, requiring no effort and very little thought. Perhaps it was a promise made to a friend, a
lover, a family member or a spouse.
Things were good and they entrusted something into your care. “No problem. Your secret is safe with me. I promise.”
I’m not talking about where a body was hid or how a person
embezzled money from the company. I’m
talking about those things that happen between people who are close, within
relationships. These aren’t laws that
have been broken. They’re matters of
life, of the heart. They’re mistakes or
dreams, failures or fantasies. You were
trusted enough at one time with their secrets, because they saw something in
you that they felt was safe.
Then something happened.
Perhaps it was a falling out that came to a parting of ways. Perhaps it was as simple as drifting apart or
a relocation. Something, however, caused
the parties involved to stop speaking to each other. A chasm opened up that could not be
crossed. Suddenly, whether due to
emotions or new relationships, that promise is too tight and uncomfortable. You want to toss it into the trash bin and
forget you even made it. It doesn’t fit
right and you’re ready to rip it asunder for convenience’s sake. You’re not in that relationship anymore, so
you no longer care whether you keep your promises.
Before you succumb to the tossing out of promises, realize
that what you are really tossing out isn’t another person’s secrets, but
rather, you’re integrity, your word. If
I begin a friendship and the person immediately begins to give me the scoop on
former friends, eagerly dishing out the dirt, I know not to trust this
person. I know my secrets will be next. His word is only good if the relationship
stands, and probably not even then. When
the relationship fails, so does his word.
“I just couldn’t keep that promise, anymore. I release myself from it.”
While that sounds noble, it’s truly ridiculous. You can break a promise. You can even ask to be released from it. However, only the person you made the promise
to can release you from your vow.
Otherwise, you’re still guilty and have proven to be an untrustworthy
person. Wishy Washy.
I rarely make promises, especially if I’m unsure of a
friendship. I also don’t want the burden
of other people’s secrets. I may forget
and work it into a storyline somewhere.
Don’t laugh. The way my
imagination goes, it could very well happen.
I could be sitting in a group sharing a scene from a book I’m working on
thinking I came up with a great plot twist only to find out I just outed Billy’s affair with Julie in front of his wife. It’s just too much
responsibility.
Before I make a promise, I think whether I’ll be able to
keep it once I’m pissed off and no longer talking to the person. It’s not that you’re being loyal to a person
who did you wrong. Rather, you are
actually being loyal to yourself, proving that, no matter what, your word means
something regardless of the situation.
Promises are not temporary vows.
Keep your word, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. While shirts can be tossed in the trash and
new ones bought, your word can’t be. Furthermore,
while you may not think it’s a big deal to throw out commitments, I assure you
that those around you do, and I promise they’re watching. How do you want to be seen? As a friend once said to me, “It’s better to
take the high road.” Besides, the air is
much cleaner up there.
* * * * *
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For Further Reading ~ The Worldwide Clothesline
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