Friday, January 17, 2014

The Negotiation of Change

I suppose it's fitting they stuck me in a corner
Change is exciting.  I usually relish it because it brings about freshness to anything around it.  It jump starts my thinking and takes me down paths I had never thought of before.  It rejuvenates me and gives me an excitement that may have grown dull with the stagnation of day after day doing the same thing.  I usually look to the beginning of a new year with my eyes on something to change that will keep a spark in what we do.  This year it’s the house.

If you’ve been paying attention lately, you’ve noticed that I am distracted by the chaos around me due to the remodeling of rooms.  Change is happening in the house and I know that when it is all said and done it will look amazing and give us a new outlook on our home and a renewed enthusiasm.  Change brings a new look and you tend to see things a little differently.

However, change can also be a pain in the ass.

I said at the beginning of the year that I wanted to change the way the house looked.  I was ready to get rid of some old furniture and rearrange the furniture that made the cut and remained.  It’s time for new knick-knacks and what-nots and picture frames and carpets and…..  Well, you get the idea.

This is where the pain in the ass part came in.  Each of the girls has a different view of how things should look.  They have different tastes, opinions, and likes and dislikes.  They also have different attachments to what’s in the house, so where someone would say to toss something, someone else may want it kept.  Nothing is simple.

This is where the art of negotiation comes in.  It’s not a matter of one person rearranging the furniture and that’s that.  No, this is three ladies changing things up and discussing arrangements, colors, styles, and where I am going to get put.  I am happy to say that in all of the changes, I have a room that is basically mine now where I can work.  The only catch is that it’s in the front of the house and I am forced to keep it tidy and kept orderly.  That in itself is a challenge.  I think it was a trick, but it’s mine so I won’t say anything.

Negotiation is an art.  You have to learn to compromise.  You have to know when to give in and when to stand up for what you want.  It’s also to build a reputation of giving in to some things so that people are more willing to give in to you.  If you always fight for your way over everyone else’s, then it is likely no one is going to want to negotiate with you.  They see you as selfish and a fighter instead of someone who is willing to compromise.  It’s important to give in where it doesn’t really matter to you, so that when it finally is important and you stand strong for it, they will see your history of compromise and surrender to your wishes.  Choose your battles wisely, because in the end, people matter more than furniture.

I’ve watched the girls as we’ve gone through this process and I am constantly amazed at each one.  I’ve seen the compromise, the sacrifices, the negotiating that has happened to make our home a peaceful haven for not only ourselves but for all of those who enter it.  They have made it a loving environment, because it is with loving hearts that they worked together.  If only everyone could work this way.

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