![]() |
I think I can, I think I can |
I call foul. No really, it’s not fair. Last weekend was
Char’s birthday weekend and what did we do? We lounged around the pool, drank
pink lemonade with strawberry vodka, listened to music, played cards and never
left the house. Now that’s a nice, relaxing birthday. It’s even what she asked
for and since we’re nice sometimes, we gave it to her.
This weekend is my birthday weekend. Don’t worry about how
old I am. Just allow the gray hairs to talk for me. However, guess who didn’t
get asked what he wanted to do? Now guess who was told he was going to the
Health First CPR and 5K Run/Walk? Now you see why I call foul? This is a totally
unbalanced system of celebration! I want birthday cake and ice cream, alcohol
and cigars. I do not want exercise!
Furthermore, I think it’s cruel to combine the CPR class
with the 5K walk–notice I dropped the run part–because not only do I have to
walk, I also have to learn something. Exercise and education on my birthday
weekend. This is not a good gift idea. However, it is also probably smart
because by the time the race is over I will be the dummy everyone is practicing
CPR on, trying to revive me and bring me back to life. Hopefully the oxygen
they bring to resuscitate me is birthday cake flavored.
To add insult to injury, we have to be there at 6:30 in the
blessed AM! Not only am I being forced to exercise on my birthday weekend, but
I have to get up early to do it. There is no sleeping in for me on MY weekend.
Now, if I am to be there at 6:30 that means I have to wake up by 5–okay 5:30,
maybe 5:45? I never get up that
early. I have on occasion gone to bed that late, but that is by choice, not by
coercion. I’m not even sure if the coffee will be awake at that time. I’ll
probably hit the newspaper delivery boy as I’m backing out of the driveway. I
have reverted to a time in my life where I had forgotten 5:30 came twice a day
and I would like to keep that memory forever vanquished.
I do get a nice shirt, however, with a number I get to pin
to it. There is also a GPS tracker I am supposed to wear in order to keep track
of my steps. They will probably post pictures on Facebook as they have been
doing with that Great White shark off our coast. “Robbie was last pinged at the
corner of Grim Reaper and Death Valley.” At least they will know where I
collapse and die.
![]() |
Medic! |
The girls showed me a map of the course we would be crawling
and it stretches on for miles. “What are these pin marks?” There seemed to be
these special markings every few blocks. I assumed that was where the
ambulances were stationed with their engines running.
“Those are the checkpoints where they will hand out water.”
“Water? At 6:30 in the morning? Who drinks water that early
in the day? Why aren’t they handing out coffee?”
“It’s supposed to be healthy for you, Robbie.”
“I’ve gone 48 years avoiding healthy. Why do I want to start
now? And why am I getting up early to be healthy? Can’t I be healthy after
lunch?”
“It’s going to be fun. Besides, we’re doing it together.”
“We can sleep in together as well. Let’s do that and call it
a weekend.”
Needless to say, Saturday morning I am walking in a 5K and
then learning CPR. If you happen to be in the area and come across my bloated
carcass, do us all a favor and just roll me off the road. I’m sure the buzzards
will clean up the rest.
![]() |
Call the coroner |
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Did you enjoy what you read? Leave me a comment and then join me at The Mess that Is Me on Facebook!
See what you've missed ~ Political Parties
Thanks for visiting The Mess! Keep chasing your dreams!
Pick up a copy of one of my books today!
Okay I actually admire you more now. If I had to run on my birthday - and I would be dropping any family and friends who would even dare suggest such a thing to a hotel loving, Jacuzzi floating, room service woman -- but you are going to do it! Your family is brave but you are braver. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry :) Maybe I can get the room service afterwards?? lol
DeleteCongratulations! A man after my own heart--especially on your birthday. Mine is this coming Wednesday, and I certainly hope my family doesn't have the same thing in mind! :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy early birthday! I hope they have some fun planned for you.
DeleteCongratulations! I hope my family doesn't have the same thing planned for my birthday this coming Wednesday. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you and Happy Birthday!
Delete